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最近拜访一位美国著名媒体的专栏作家，她1985年就来到中国，中文很好。
即使是中国通，她小心记下“DOU文涛”三个字以后，却被“投胎”这两个字难倒了。她问，什么叫“投胎”？我想了很久，回答她说：”中国人，或者说佛家相信轮回。因此乐观的中国人相信，你死后会再投入人世，变成小孩，再出生。这里是更乐观的人相信，你不但会再生，而且还可以选择自己投胎的国度。”
*退休福利。绿卡持有人在一生累积十年交税记录后（底线为每月50美元的税金）可在退休后（通常为65岁）终生领取美国政府的退休金（每月700-1200美元）。
我只是想列出来，有一些对社会安定起决定因素的社会福利待遇，西方国家有，而我们没有，这样移民公司和移民生意才有市场。
*中小学学费。18岁大学前美国全部中小学都是义务教育。目前北京、上海、广州三地机构办理中小学生赴美的学费每年都在3万美元以上（接近21万人民币）。3万×3年=9万约等于超过60万人民币。
*政府帮助找工作。美国政府在各地设有专门机构免费为国人找工作，绿卡持有者只要到这些部门登记技能、专长，这些部门就会为登记这免费找工作及提供工作的各种政府资讯。同时，这些部门每年还有各项基金帮助培训待业者，比如电脑、英文。
*回国投资。美国绿卡持有者被视为华侨，回国投资被视为外资或合资，并享受很多优惠政策。
*失业救济。在有正常收入并交税不少于6个月以后失业，到美国相关部门报失业并办理相关手续就可以按月领取政府救济金（每月600-1200美金不等）。
*学生贷款。18岁以上的绿卡持有者可以在拿到绿卡当年申请各种类型的学生贷款，找到工作以后可以分年还清，通常只要拿工资的10%-20%还款。美国和加拿大的学生贷款系统非常方便简单，很多学生都靠自己贷款和打工读完大学。
短信道：“移民澳大利亚40万人民币，移民美国80万人民币。”她逐条给我看短信，可移民国度还包括加拿大、新西兰甚至新加坡。
如果你你要问我为什么国人选择移民，我首先会回答因为他们不想自己将来的小孩喝三鹿奶粉，吃食物中的苏丹红、地沟油和各种肉类中的超标激素……好不容易挤进大学校门，毕业了以后却要排着队在富士康门口找工作。还有越来越大的基尼系数和贫富分化带来的社会不稳定性……这些也是金钱无法计算的。
如果有能力在美国大城市买一幢房子，基本上今天你省的就更多了，就拿通州2万的房价来说吧，你在美国波士顿的郊区绝对可以买到每平方尺单价更好更便宜的房子。
我不是帮移民公司做广告，因为大家每天都在手机收到小广告。以上的信息确实是移民公司所列，而且事实情况大致如此，至少我知道在加拿大的社会福利比美国还要好。比如医疗保险，在有的阿尔伯塔省是全部免费，在卑诗省对穷人医保还有特别的优惠。
当然，如此诋毁祖国母亲的移民广告，肯定会有许多爱国者愤愤不平，但我还是觉得，作为一个爱国者，对这种广告，最好的办法就是广泛地传播它，因为，如此一来，最后留在这个国家的人，都会是纯粹的爱国者了。
我终于忍不住大笑，这条不够狠，我看到一条间接广告，锵锵泰斗“窦文涛”说的：“中国有风险，投胎需谨慎”。
这些费用还只是算到了孩子大学毕业，步入社会的社会的医疗保险、失业保险、退休金等等还没有计算。
以下是清单部分内容：
她说，那天在大街上看到一条广告，上书几个大字：“房子这么贵？还不如移民呢！”
除了这些可以计算的显性数字，干净的空气、清澈的蓝天、纯净的饮用水，孩子们可以活动的大片绿地。更好的市政措施、更好的交通管理等等，还有人们相对平静的心态这些都是数字和金钱无法计算的。
*孩子出生。在美出生的孩子就是美国公民。注意你在北京超生一个孩子要罚款24万人民币，而在美国你可以多生几个，不用付罚款。（在加拿大每个孩子每个月政府还支付还有牛奶金呢）
*事故时的人道待遇。在美国发生事故（车祸，怪病）一切以救人为第一准则。即使你表明没有钱支付手术费，医院也会不懈余力地抢救……
如果移民公司再一飞机一飞机的输送中国掏得起移民费用的社会精英或者贪污的官员，这何尝不是壮举。
“中国有风险，投胎需谨慎”这样的口号，当然只能是对自己国家最有深切体验的中国人才能总结出来的。等每个北京老外每天都收到移民加拿大、美国、澳大利亚的小广告的时候，我想这也算是黑色幽默了。
我记得当年在新东方学习英语的时候，老师曾经说过，俞敏洪为美国一飞机一飞机的输送了GRE考了高分的最好的中国学生。这是多么大的壮举啊。
当然，作为一个未必真正生活在中国人群里的“中国通”，她依然不知道为什么移民要那么贵。我说，我正好有一个朋友在移民公司工作，一次我拿到了一在她那里看到一份移民美国的“收益”清单，如果按这份清单的话，那么80万的费用似乎是不贵的（他们公司好像只收20万费用）。
*大学学费。上大学本地学生的学费每年约3千多美金，而外籍学生要交2万多美金。每年节省1.7万×4年=6.8万约等于50万人民币
她问：“中国不是越来越富强吗？个人不是越来越有钱吗？为什么这么多中国人有钱了还要移民外国？”
老实说，假如移民美国费用是80万，你多生一个小孩，让他读3年美国高中，4年美国大学基本省出的钱已经超过80万人民币了―条件是假如你不想让孩子和很多学生一起高考，并且大学毕业以后打破头的找工作的话。
因为她的作家身份，提问似乎变成了双向。她问：“你能告诉我，为什么最近我总是收到很多让我移民的短信？”
那么上句话的意思可以是：如果你可以替孩子选择出生地的话，中国不是一个好选择。这算是给她的答案，为什么中国人会这么热衷于移民。
*周游世界。绿卡持有者在绝大多数国家有免签的优势。当然去朝鲜和古巴两国除外。
Many years ago there lived an Emperor who was so exceedingly fond of fine new clothes that he spent vast sums of money on dress. To him clothes meant more than anything else in the world. He took no interes
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