www.public4you.fora.pl

shoes5l9n

"Oh, I never thought of sitting and listening for controlling. Aren't two human in a relationship supposed to talk about things?"
"Maryann, how do you respond when Robert says he want to talk?"

"Yes, but only when the ambitious of the speak is to study from and with each other. If the intent is to control, it is going to build problems."

"I have told Robert namely I am open to the message he is giving me, because he reads a lot and often has good entities apt mention, but I can't stand it while he tries apt ram it down my larynx."
Maryann coincided to try this. In or next session she reported that Robert was delighted that she was willing to listen openly to him. She base that when she was neither complaint nor resistant, they could have amusing discussions about the things that Robert was send up. They finished up sensibility close and loving rather than furious and far.
"What are you telling yourself that makes you feel tense and resistant?"
"I understand what's coming when Robert says that we absence to sit down and have a talk," Maryann told me in our phone session. "He wants to tell me anything that is bad with me. It's not about talking - it's about wanting to have control over me. Last time he did this it was always about how I spend money, even although I make my own money and catch on all my own expenses. The time ahead it was about our sex life. Before that it was my diet and heaviness. I just terror it when he wants to have these talks."
v class="clear">
"I feel very tense and I get resistant."
"Maryann, either obedience and resistance almost to control. When you obey, you wish to have control over getting agreement and averting denial, and when you withstand you wish to have control over no creature controlled. In neither case, are you open to knowledge about what is best for you. It seems to me that at all times you are telling yourself that you must do what Robert says, you ambition be trying to control and no be controlled rather than be open to learning. If you were to let go of attempting to control Robert and not be controlled along him, you could be open to the information that is invaluable and discard the repose. Would you be willing to listen to Robert and make your own decisions?
"Hummm…….I calculate I'm telling myself I must do what he says. Oh my God! Now that I'm meditative about it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I secondhand to tell myself the same thing with my parents. I was always such a good girl. I've done the same thing at go. I was always a good girl with Robert too, until recently. I don't absence to do that anymore, so now I am resistant."
"Why do you have these talks?" I asked her.
The next period someone wants to talk with you about an publish, notification your intent. You tin probable have a good discussion whether you are open to learning rather than controlling or resisting control.
"Well,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if I didn't, I'm terrified he would leave me."
"So he is trying to control you by being parental with you and you are trying to control him by sitting and listening?"
Good communication and the amphitheatre to talk things out is very essential in relationships, but the secure battlefield is created only when both people want to share information without an agenda,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and learn about themselves and each other. If an or both are intent above trying to have control over getting the other person to alteration, the communication will break down.