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Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell tin be approached at
Send letters to: Direct Answers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 alternatively email: [link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 25, 2004
I have been seeing a married man for the past 9 months. He is unhappy but says he is not ready to leave his kids. They have a teen daughter and a grown son, who is hers from a previous marriage. He is close to them and has a lovely family, which he worked hard for.
We plucked away from every other for we both felt criminal. However, we are still quite close for we work ashore an oil rig in the North Sea and cannot aid creature nigh each other for excellent lengths of time. We feel we are conscience mates.
Now he's found out his wife is having an affair with a male while he is offshore. She is unaware of me, and she is unaware he knows about her infidelity. I concern so many about this man I felt his anguish when he first found out. I want to advocate him through this. I don't want to be a disruptive compel namely will be the catalyst to divorce.
I do deem in fate and hope the best location arises.
Maya
Maya, if a conductor is hiring violinists and he knows one will only take first seat, she will get first preside. If first chair is yet occupied, the conductor is hiring a second chair. If the conductor knows a violinist is willing to take second chair, why would he give her first?
You both know you are doing something which is in its pith wrong. He says you are his soul mate, but he chooses an unhappy marriage over you. He is willing to lose you. If he is willing to lose you, he doesn't adore you. If he loved you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], losing you would be the one entity he would be disinclined to do.
Hannibal Lecter said, "What do we covet? We covet what we see." Why did this man chance involved with you? Because his opportunities were restricted, and we covet what we see. But what role can he attempt you except the character of helpful housekeeper?
If a relationship is not monogamous and guiding to matrimony, it is of not benefit to a woman by all.
Trust issues predominate in this situation. Until one or all of you resolve to do what is right,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], nobody good will come of this. You are a unattached, obtainable, unmarried woman. That is the basis from which you must proceed. Leave these two unattended to handle with their reciprocal infidelity.
Ayn Rand said we are free to make the erroneous alternative, yet not apt succeed with it. The only way to your pleasure ambition get cracking making right choices. You need to be in an open and credible relationship,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], with someone who namely free to be comprised with you.
Wayne & Tamara
Breaking Ground
After a two annual relationship, I base out he was marital. He ensured me time and time again he was divorced, while I answered his operations. I need to find out whether there are whichever valid remedies to this relationship.
Natalie
Natalie,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we cannot give legal advice, but you heave an amusing question. Should a person be able to prevaricate to different, to that person's detriment, and not undergo legal consequences?
Some human would lick their wounds, chalk it up to experience, and migrate on. But there are others who fire current trails, make new decrees, and fight the agreeable fight. People like client support Ralph Nader. In the words of an former United States senator, he created a campaign "whose sole intention is to keep large corporations and the government honest."
Are you, like Ralph Nader, prepared to blaze new trails? Then you might want to adjoin an lawyer and watch if something can be done. But first you need to respond one question. When you asked him again and again approximately his marital status, why did you persist in the relationship?
Tamara