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he had married two older women―both of whom had truly loved him.
But there had been no way to counter his rejection from the beautiful
Martha Gellhornyoungersophisticatedtalented in the same way he
was. That was the rejection that marked his last yearsand marrying
Mary Welsh was not an answer. Mary was neither so beautiful nor so
talentedand she was much more eager to become Mrs. Ernest
Hemingway than he had been to have her assume that role. Hemingway
thenwas still looking for the beautiful young matethe replacement for
the courageous and independent third wife―the only one of his wives
who had wanted out of her marriage to him. It was his psychological
need to put heror someone like herback into that space.
23
Hemingway led his life straddling the two important streams of
energy that comprised it. The one stream that was crucialthat he could
not exist withoutwas his writinghis craft with wordshis hunger to
find the power to express what lay―always unconsciously and always
surprisingly―somewhere within his mind. The second streamone that
he kept even more hidden because he was somehow ashamed of that phys-
ical and emotional needwas the current of exquisite sexual closenessa
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